Tumblr 30 Day Letter Challenge
I’LL START THIS TOMORROW! (:Tumblr 30 Day Letter Challenge.
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I’ve never seen so much perfection in one single movie. The acting was beyond anything I could have imagined (this is the first time I’ve actually been thankful for my inability to look at a movie as a whole without dissecting every scene’s acting performance.) The cinematography was absolutely stunning…everything from the set, the costumes, the colors, the music…it was infallible! THE CAST! <3 I can’t begin to explain how beautiful it was to see three actors with this level of chemistry. Andrew Garfield’s performance was breathtaking…Carey Mulligan is without a doubt one of the best actresses of our generation…and Keira Knightly has never been more stunning. A wonderfully executed plot…it completely broke my soul in two. It is, without a doubt, a movie I will watch countless times with the unfaltering hope that it will one day end differently. D’:
(Source: msparkers)
“Just Like Walking On A Wire”
Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve gone out of my way to cut my own wings. Maybe it’s the anxiety of finally graduating, the fear of facing the uncertain head on. I find myself turning my back on my parents’ encouragments of freedom….even simple things like “you should go out with your friends today.” I’m not taking their trust for granted…I know many people who would die to be in my shoes. However, I’ve never felt the weight of decisions as I do now. Where will I go to college? What will I major in? What will I do with said major? I’ve never felt more uncertain…and this whole time I felt like I had it all figured out.
College- Santa Fe University of Art and Design. They are one of the only two schools in the nation that has professional production studios. Internship opportunities for students are endless….
Major- Bachelor of Fine Arts in Theatre. Concentration: Performance. Hasn’t this always been my passion? Could I possibly see myself doing anything else with my life?
Plans: Pursue my dreams. Fearlessly.
Ambitious dreams, oulandish hopes that were always justified by my unfaltering confidence . Where have they gone? Where has my unfaltering confidence gone? Did I not shout at my father when he demanded more tangible pursuits that “I was good enough”? Am I? I think I need a year or so to figure things out…to get my priorities together. I never valued economic stability over happiness…I vowed myself I never would. However, I seem to be faltering in all my prior beliefs as of late…
And therefore….
College: University of Texas at Arlington- hardly as glamorous as Santa Fe, I’ll probably loath the theatre department (if I even declare a major this year.)
Major: Theatre (if I’m feeling bold). More than likely: Undeclared.
Plans: Find myself. Cautiously.
It takes the cold to know the sun
I’m not missing people as much as I thought I would be. I think I’m learning how to stand on my own two feet and I’m lovin’ it. -Insert cheesy McDonald’s jingle here- I’m pretty much adoring the friendships and friendly acquaintances I’ve kept so far this week and hold faith that they’ll just keep getting better and more numerous. I’m feeling oh so optimistic. :)
“your universe will soon collide”
Dear _________,
I loathe that you still manage to affect the things I do…especially after I threw you out of my life what now seems like an eternity ago. However, I don’t particularly regret this. You were, without a doubt, the most corrupting influence that has ever stepped into my life. Despite this, you are still the most memorable individual I have ever encountered. I seek your intangible approval on a daily basis…it’s ridiculous. Before I make any important decision I always catch myself asking “would you be proud of me if…?”, “how would you react if…?”, “what would you have me do if…?”
I also bring you up absentmindedly in conversations and compare you to most individuals I come to meet. I muse to myself when I come across something I know you’d enjoy. I loved your humor…it was so witty, so sarcastic. I think I feel myself drawn to people with similar attributes as you. You’re one of the major factors I take into consideration when forming new friendships. The way you left my life is so surreal…all my recollections of you are almost dream-like and I find myself questioning my sanity from time to time. I can’t help feeling like something is missing…like you left a huge void that I try to replace with other people but to no avail for no one possesses every last attribute I so greedily search for.
I hold such bewildering resentment towards you…. I think you’re the only person in the world that managed to break me beyond repair. However, you also made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. You’ve calloused me in a way…numbed me. Hah, I find amusement in people’s vain attempts to ‘hurt me’ or get under my skin. Oddly enough, thank you for that….
I hope you’re a better person. Despite your brilliance, and my admiration towards you…I always thought you could be a better person. Maybe you were just misunderstood…. Then again, I don’t think you ever truly wanted to be. Understood, I mean.
Maybe someday I’ll make my amends…
Sincerely, me.
“courteous is a life, I have heard”
Reflecting upon my journey as a student, I have come to a bittersweet conclusion. Tomorrow when I pack my bags and set sail into adulthood, everything that seems to be of paramount importance to me now will mean absolutely nothing. The facts, dates, formulas, and theories which I currently enslave myself into learning simply to ace my next test will slowly fade and disappear from my memory altogether. However, what I will hold on to will be the people and experiences that made waking up at 6:00 am every morning worthwhile.
I may not be terribly book smart and my grades have never been flawless. (I’m an average A/B student.) However, I find no shame in that. I have found brilliance amongst the most modest of people. Everybody knows something…what you do with what you know is what matters. Being a straight A student is surely something I could have aspired to be. Something I wish I was. However, if that means sacrificing some of the most memorable experiences in my life I prefer to remain an average student but one with amazing memories.
I chose theatre over advanced physics…I can stand before a crowd and make a connection instantly. Shame is something unknown to me. I chose debate over advanced calculus…I can keep a conversation alive and defend my points of views with a firm ground. In our Ac Dec competition I made a mediocre score in economics…but I made a perfect score on interview. I do not make perfect scores on exams…but I have a voice that is not easily silenced.
The knowledge you need is relative to your field. However, basic communication skills are not. Passion is not….
Hah…maybe I’m just trying to justify myself.
Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk - “Paperweight”
“we are carving out our names”
I will forever resent people’s inability to recognize that individuals other than themselves are capable of experiencing emotion. I wish I could speak only for myself, for I believe that I’ve managed to grow thick enough skin to endure the blows. However, this is not the case. I’ve personally grown weary of the hypocricy surrounding me, and even more so, of the baseless bullshit (forgive my language, but there is truly no better termonology to use under the circumstances) that impressionable dim wits allow others to feed them. Please people, grow a brain! In fact, I’ll be content if you at the very least attempt to find a shadow of your conscience. My unreasonable faith in humanity does not allow me to lose faith…but let me confide that the task is proving to be harder to execute day by day. If you live in a glass home, don’t throw stones.
“i love him, but only on my own”
I’ve always prided myself in being in possession of what I consider to be an infallible memory. I’m capable of recalling complete dialogues of conversations that I’ve held in both the immediate and distant past, names and faces of individuals I haven’t been in contact with in years, and events that are so insignificant that the mere fact they hold any part of my recollections is beyond my understanding.
However, my question, is why? I understand that the question seems pointless.
“What do you mean, Laura? Why do you have such a great memory?”
No, why do these trivial tid-bits of information cling to my head and flash before my eyes at the most irrelevant of times?
For example:
When I was in what I deduct to be the second grade (I see that my memory is, indeed, not infallible for I cannot produce reliable information) there was a boy named Jeremy who moved to a town named Buffalo. I never befriended this boy, nor did a childish fancy justify his name in my recollections. I just simply remember him. He had sandy brown hair and dark eyes. Jeremy and I never exchanged so much as two words, -in fact, I remember he was quite a timid fellow- nor do I believe we will ever cross paths again due to the fact that I lived in Minnesota at the time. I doubt I would even be able to recognize him if we ever did, anyway. However, this boy flashes before my eyes at random and he has no idea. No idea that a complete stranger thinks about him. No idea of who I am. No idea that I’m attributing a Tumblr entry to him.
So, my next question is this:
Do I, at times , flash before the eyes of a complete stranger? A stranger that for some unknown reason holds a vague memory about me? A stranger that, like myself, has no life and attributes Tumblr entries about objects of his random reflections? Hah, I’ll never know. It’s a comforting thought, though; that somewhere, somehow, you are immortalized in the reminisces of an individual completely invaluable to you….
